Will Trump Turn Presidential Race into Reality Show?

Donald Trump is joining the list of wealthy celebrities who desire occupancy in the Oval Office. The thought of having the star of the reality show “The Apprentice” running the nation is frightening to some, but let’s face it, this group of aspiring presidential candidates resembles a reality show.

Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore

Let’s scrap the ridiculous current method we use to choose a president, put all the candidates together on a reality show and let them get voted off one by one. The survivor becomes president. We could call it “America’s Got No Presidential Talent.”

This might actually get the American public involved, since they’ve demonstrated much more interest in casting votes for reality shows than in participating in the presidential election process. 

Trump brings instant credibility to this novel approach. His show, “The Apprentice,” has been on the air for eleven seasons. That’s as long as “Happy Days” survived, its demise accelerated by Fonsie’s ill-fated jumping of the shark. 

Donald Trump is the shark in this group of presidential candidates. He has a history of devouring his enemies. When you hear him speak, you get the feeling he would go on a feeding frenzy around his opponents.

Trump has already figured out the political strategy of counting on people's short term memories. In 2008, Bush was his choice for worst president ever. Now he says Obama has replaced Jimmy Carter for that dishonor.

Maybe if we put all the presidential contenders on an island or in a house, surrounded by television cameras, people might realize they don’t have to wait for a president to provide change. They have the power as voters to create change if they can just find a candidate in whom they believe.

Trump and Sarah Palin would likely be the most entertaining of “America’s Got No Presidential Talent,” but they’d have a strong supporting cast including Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, Haley Barbour, Michelle Bachmann, Herman Cain, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty.

Okay, the group does have its weak spots. Romney is a bore, but he does make up for it with his good looks, which is important in television. Plus, the name Mitt conjures up a great reality television name from the past- Puck from “The Real World.” Maybe there is a mystique about being named after sporting equipment.

Tim Pawlenty may not be Mr. Excitement, but he does have the cool nickname, T-Paw. Cool nicknames can take you a long way when you have nothing else going for you, just ask Robert Matthew Van Winkle, known to fans of “The Surreal Life” as Vanilla Ice.

Courtesy of DonkeyHotey/Greg Skidmore

Newt (yet another great reality TV name!) would be the Russell Hantz of the show. Hantz was the “Survivor: Samoa” star who earned a reputation for being evil. Even Hantz may never have stooped as low as Gingrich is claimed to have done by discussing divorce with his wife in a hospital room where she was recovering from cancer

Maybe we could catch lightning in a bottle and have a Flavor Flave- Brigitte Nielson type fling between Michelle Bachman and Haley Barbour. Nothing is unbelievable in reality television.

Courtesy of DonkeyHotey/Bruce Tuten

Sarah Palin might be the Schatar “Hottie” Sapphira, of our show. “Flavor of Love” viewers remember Hottie for trying to cook a raw chicken in the microwave. Of course, if Palin did that, she would likely “refudiate” it.

Talk show host Herman Cain can be the Tanisha Thomas (“Bad Girls Club 2” and “Celebrity Fit Club”) of our show- loud and intimidating. Mike Huckabee would be the Tammy Faye Bakker (“The Surreal Life”) of the group, providing his religious inspiration to the others.

Ron Paul would be the guy who is mocked and picked on. His opponents would all claim he had crazy ideas, only to realize after the end of the show that he was the best informed of the bunch, much like in the 2008 Republican Presidential Candidate debates.

 Donald Trump fits right in with this group. Why shouldn’t he run for president? Comedian Pat Paulsen did. Six times! He had great campaign slogans like, “I’ve upped my standards. Now up yours,” and, “If elected, I will win!”

The difference is that people didn’t take Paulsen’s presidential aspirations seriously. Trump is being taken seriously. With a persona eerily similar to that of WWE bully Vince McMahon, Trump has managed the unthinkable. He has stolen the media spotlight from Charlie Sheen!

People are obviously more interested in being entertained than in questioning why their president is ignoring the Constitution. They have already turned their attention away from our attack on Libya and are focused on “Dancing With the Stars.” It is all just a big joke. Don’t laugh, America, because the joke is on you.